A telephone makes sound travel faster than the speed of sound.ġ7. A national bestselling collection of comedian Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughtsshort, funny observations on life that were shown in between sketches on Saturday Night Live. Most of the sky is actually below your feet.ġ6. Punishment for honesty is what makes us lie.ġ5. If you had $1 for every year the universe has existed (approximately 13.8 billion years), you wouldn’t even make the top 50 on the Forbes list.ġ4. Tapes has “A” and “B” sides so it only made sense to transition to “CDs.”ġ3.

A single one has the potential to eliminate the carbon emissions of an entire human over the course of their lifetime.ġ2. Condoms are one of the most environmentally friendly things invented by man. Originally, the Deep Thoughts bits featured the voice of Phil Hartman (RIP) in the introduction, then Jack Handey, REAL GUY, would read the surprising, iconic, and always hilarious statements. Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.ġ0. Technically almost every mirror you buy at a store is in used condition.ġ1. Saturday Night Live used to include these very short bits in between their comedy sketches. The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.ĩ. Your car keys have travelled further than your car.Ĩ. We were taught as kids to not get in strangers cars or meet strangers from the Internet, and now we literally summon strangers from the Internet and get in their cars.Ħ. When you drink alcohol, you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.ħ. ‘Coffee flavored water’ doesn’t sound good but that’s what coffee is.ĥ. When you buy and eat half a chicken, you are secretly sharing a meal with a stranger.Ĥ. The purpose of a lock is to turn a door into a wall.Ģ. At age 30, you’ve spent a month having birthdays.ģ. Struggling to fall asleep? Distract yourself with these 17 deep thoughts and drift off to sleep.ġ.

Deep thoughts funny